Gundam Drabbles
by tati1
Summary: Drabbles on the Gundam pilots, starting with 'Party Night' why Heero couldn't kill Relena, and including a 'why Wufei hates women'. Oneshot series The Weapons of Their Destruction now added!
1. Party Night

**Party Night**

_By tati1_

_Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never will. Do think about it a lot…sighs_

_Summary: Why couldn't Heero kill Relena? Not 1xR_

_A/N: References to Episode Zero, Endless Waltz, and the series in general. This fic is my way to explain the show's discrepancies over why (even though we all know Heero belongs solely to Duo-chan) Relena keeps popping up in Heero's thoughts. sits back, satisfied_

**Party Night**

_By tati1_

_What's wrong with me?_ For one of the first times in his life, Heero was frightened. _Why can't I kill her?_

There she sat, sprawled on the ground—saved from her death by Heero Yuy, a boy with no real name and no past and no future. An assassin.

And he had just saved her life.

_Why?_ he wondered, his shield still held protectively over her. _Why?_

An image began to form, and he remembered another girl—another stupid girl with long blonde hair. He crushed it before it could fully form.

"_What's wrong with me!"_ he screamed. He turned and pulled the shield from a girl he could no longer stand to look at, and smashed the end that had just saved Relena's life into the body of the enemy's suit. It helped, a little. After all, this was what he had been born and bred to do. This was his purpose. This was his life.

She was calling him. For the moment, he ignored her.

_Why, why did I save her? She knows too much._

She was still shouting, and he finally forced himself to turn and look at her again. Could he kill her? He raised his shield to rectify his earlier mistake and thrust forward—and missed. He flinched.

"_How come I can't kill her?"_ he whispered, anguished. But he knew why.

Defeated by his faulty humanity, Heero turned tail and fled from the bright eyes and bright hair and the memory of a white dress and a golden puppy.

_I have been lost my entire life…_

_Please, don't say I've killed her._

End.


	2. Portrait of Relena

**Portrait of Relena**

_By tati1_

_Summary: Heero's still confused about Relena. This is every pilot's take on what is up with the former Queen of the World._

_A/N: No one's in love with Relena, k? This is just a funny little ficlet I got off of the episode Portrait of a Ruined Kingdom, where Duo says, "She's not your average chick, trying to see the guy who wants to kill her."_

**Portrait of Relena**

_By tati1_

"_She's not your average chick, trying to see the guy who wants to kill her." – Duo Maxwell, Pilot 02_

Heero always knew she was crazy. What sane person would bandage the guy that just tried to shoot her? Poor Duo was still sputtering over that one, even now that the wars were over.

Relena…Every time he said her name, she'd perked up like he'd offered her the chance to marry him (not that he'd ever tried that, of course), never mind that he tended to try to kill, threaten, or turn her into an emotional wreck immediately after he said it. And she kept coming back for more.

What was with _that_, anyway?

Duo insisted she was crushing on him. Why else would she have made _Duo_ look like the "bad guy"? Especially since he'd just saved her life.

Quatre thought she had been upholding her ideal of pacifism. The rest doubted it (though admittedly no one knew what Trowa thought).

Wufei was with Heero. The girl was nuts. She was a crazy onna, and Wufei was still trying to find an honorable way for Heero to avoid saving her life. She might be a strong leader, but she had scary stalker tendencies that had made him more than willing to help hide Heero whenever she discovered their new location (though Duo kept ruining the attempt).

Trowa, of course, still didn't say anything. He just laughed.

Heero stopped asking him. He was crazy, too. Not that he'd say that near Quatre.

End.


	3. Memory

**Memory**

_By tati1_

_Summary: Why Wufei hates women._

_A/N: Sorry. Really short._

**Memory**

_By tati1_

Wufei didn't really hate women. He was just frightened. Meiran had died. He couldn't let her die again. No one knew it, but he didn't think he could ever kill a woman. He was too weak.

It was the weakness he hated.


	4. Unexplainable

**Unexplainable**

_By tati1_

_Summary: Duo couldn't really explain his fascination with Heero. One-shot. 2x1_

**Unexplainable**

_By tati1_

Duo couldn't really explain his fascination with Heero. Sure, he had a great body, he cared about people in his own cold, harsh way, and his eyes were awesome, but his nose was too sharp, his face too still, his voice too monotonous. He was too quiet, he obsessed over his laptop, he was irritating, and he had a crazy girl stalking him.

Duo couldn't really explain his love for Heero. Sure he let him top and his cooking was amazing, but man, what a little head job! He had emotional baggage up the wazoo (not that Duo didn't) and was awful at communicating his feelings. He was awkward in bed (not that they'd been in bed very often) to such an extent that they both fantasized about sleeping with someone who hadn't been raped, and he was so cynical at times that even Trowa snapped at him. And worse, he had reflexively shot Duo's parakeet when it startled him.

Duo was still mad about that one.

Duo couldn't really explain his fascination and love for Heero Yuy, but perhaps he didn't really need to.

Because Heero loved him, too.


	5. The End of Her Waltz

**The End of Her Waltz**

By tati1

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never will. Do think about it a lot…sighs

A/N: Not exactly Relena-bashing, but more of a Relena-learning.

oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo

**The End of Her Waltz**

By tati1

Relena ran her hand through Heero's hair, down his arched neck, and across his shoulder, savoring this one selfish moment before she would never hold him again. She hadn't understood that before; had wondered why he didn't return to her side after the war. She knew now; for him she was a necessary tool for peace, but expendable all the same. She knew, when his face appeared on Dekim's monitor screen, that to Heero peace was worth killing her. In that moment, she understood, accepted, and prepared to die.

And here she was, savoring the last shattered remnants of a young love before she found a medic to tend to Heero and for once save his life for the same reason he'd tried to end hers.

The people of Earth might not know it, she reflected sadly, but perhaps she was not so much the embodiment of peace, but the maintainer of a peace the Heero she loved had made for them.

A worried voice alerted her to the arrival of one of the Gundam pilots – the one known as Duo Maxwell – and she blinked in surprise as he firmly pulled Heero from her embrace, hoisted him into his own arms, and shot her an unmistakable, possessive glare before taking off in search of a doctor.

Relena buried her head in her hands and laughed bitterly.

She had been even more deluded than she'd thought.

Owari.


	6. A Gift to Mourn

**A Gift to Mourn**

By tati1

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never will. Do think about it a lot…sighs

A/N: An angsty G-boy Christmas.

oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo0oOo

**A Gift to Mourn**

By tati1

Duo couldn't help feeling guilty glee when they all realized Quatre had gotten Heero the worst gift possible. Even as he pulled a shaking Heero into his arms – himself frightened as he saw Heero cry for perhaps the first time in his life – he thanked Shinigami that no one had asked his opinion on the gift. This way, at least it was a surprise for both of them, and Heero couldn't be mad at Duo as well.

But poor Quatre. He couldn't understand why Heero had reacted so poorly to the little golden retriever puppy that had been so happy to jump into his arms.

Duo bent his head to comfort Heero, and listened quietly as Heero cried.

"—I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

Duo hoped he could once again stop Heero from trying to suicide tonight.

Merry Christmas, he thought wryly.

Owari.


	7. The Weapon of His Mourning

**The Weapons of Their Destruction**

_By tati1_

_Summary: This is a series of five drabbles, going backwards through the G-boys, about how the guys felt about their Gundams. Zechs and Treize not included._

_A/N: All information you may not understand is directly from the manga Episode Zero or from the Gundam Wing show._

**Drabble 05: The Weapon of His Mourning**

_By tati1_

At first, Wufei had held his Gundam to be a monument of his grief. He even verged on hating it, for a little while. It had failed to save his life. It had been a reminder of his weakness.

By the time he reached Earth he had stopped really hating it. It gave him the power to force people to take him seriously, and the opportunity to corner his wife's murderers.

And then…he was defeated. He had been so lost. What was the purpose of his Gundam if he could only use it to defeat those weaker than he? He began to resent it.

Sally stopped that.

In the end, Nataku and Altron were just tools he had used to deal with his grief, and he had used them badly. True peace came to him only when the Gundams had been destroyed and he, once again, settled down to read in a most beautiful field of flowers.

End.


	8. The Weapons of His Happiness and Madness

**The Weapons of Their Destruction**

_By tati1_

_Summary: This is a series of five drabbles, going backwards through the G-boys, about how the guys felt about their Gundams. Zechs and Treize not included._

_A/N: All information you may not understand is directly from the manga Episode Zero or from the Gundam Wing show._

**Drabble 04: The Weapons of His Happiness and Madness**

_By tati1_

Sandrock was never just a tool to Quatre; he was a friend and companion. When he left his family, Sandrock was all he had. Sandrock protected him, and they connected on a unique level. When he was with Sandrock, he was at peace. Although the other pilots thought he was imagining things (especially the ever-logical Heero), he knew that Sandrock felt the same way, and loved him through their bond. There was no other way to explain Sandrock's sacrifice; how he urged Quatre to abandon him to the army on Earth and flee into space without him. When they had been reunited, Quatre had been overjoyed.

No one could understand his connection with his Gundam, but that was fine with Quatre. For him, Sandrock was his savior, his friend, and his closest confidant. There were few sights more beautiful than his beloved Gundam at rest in one of his desert oases, and few things had broken his heart so much as saying that final goodbye to his dearest friend.

Sandrock would never be forgotten.

Zero was a different matter. Where Sandrock had been a benevolent god, Zero was the devil he sold his mind to. Driven to insanity by grief and loneliness, Quatre had accepted the burden without understanding what he was getting into. In his mad devotion to Zero, he had slaughtered billions.

Zero was his sin, and one day, he knew, he would pay for it.

End.


	9. The Weapon of His Destiny

**The Weapons of Their Destruction**

_By tati1_

_Summary: This is a series of five drabbles, going backwards through the G-boys, about how the guys felt about their Gundams. Zechs and Treize not included._

_A/N: All information you may not understand is directly from the manga Episode Zero or from the Gundam Wing show._

**Drabble 03: The Weapon of His Destiny**

_By tati1_

Trowa had never liked being a victim, though he had always known better than to show that dislike. He had never liked being controlled by others. In spite of his dislike, he was always controlled; used. This was why he controlled himself. If he controlled himself from his innermost core, then everything else was a farce – he wasn't really being controlled by others. He was merely manipulating them into the path he most wanted them to take.

But still, it was a shadow control, and sometimes he forgot, and began to feel the old resentment pile up.

Heavyarms rescued him from that.

He'd been working on that Gundam for months, dreaming about controlling it, practicing on it secretly. A weapon of mass destruction that _he_ could control, that _he_ could dictate the actions of…it was almost too good to be true when that scientist murdered Trowa Barton and Doktor S agreed to let him take Trowa's name and take Trowa's Gundam and commit Operation Meteor the way he wished. The way he wished.

His decision; his achievement; his fight and his destiny – taking his life, for once, into his own hands, the newly-Christened Trowa Barton seized the opportunity and got to Earth to finally, finally take control.

Only to realize, when faced with a dying boy in his trailer, that he had not taken control, not really. He had been acting out of desperation when he asked for Heavyarms; he was a soldier and there was no other course but to forge his destiny through the destruction of human life – but Heero changed that. Heero had tried to die, defying the destiny Trowa had reached for and suddenly realized he had failed to find. Heero, upon waking, told him to follow his emotions.

Trowa tried to die as well.

He failed.

He understood later, of course. Following his emotions didn't mean following despair, or following Heero. It meant utilizing himself as a tool, controlling himself on a whole new level in order to achieve the desired result. It meant finding what he wanted out of life and striving to achieve it; with or without his Gundam.

Out of all the pilots, his departure from his Gundam was probably the easiest. Heavyarms had taught him much, but human connections had taught him more, and he had finally found a destiny he could strive for throughout the rest of his life.

End.


	10. The Weapon of His Life in Death

**The Weapons of Their Destruction**

_By tati1_

_Summary: This is a series of five drabbles, going backwards through the G-boys, about how the guys felt about their Gundams. Zechs and Treize not included._

_A/N: All information you may not understand is directly from the manga Episode Zero or from the Gundam Wing show._

**Drabble 02: The Weapon of His Life in Death**

_By tati1_

Duo had never bought into the shit Father Maxwell had tried to feed him. No loving God would have let Solo die. No loving God would have permitted the Maxwell Church Massacre.

The God of Death, however, would have. The God of Death did not ask to be liked; did not expect to always do good deeds; did not expect to be understood. He did his job to get what he wanted. Duo understood that, and in that understanding, willingly took on the burden of administering death.

Wufei thought it merely proof of Duo's insanity that he went by the title Shinigami, but Trowa and Heero understood, and despite Duo's outward I-love-everyone appearance, all the pilots knew better than to push him far enough to let the God of Death out. In exchange, Duo tried to reserve his hatred and his private, private madness for enemies, where it was okay for him to taunt those he killed as they died. It was perfectly alright to revel in their screams as their mecha blew up with them still inside, and just dandy for him to laugh as he blew up yet another enemy base housing thousands of life forms.

Deathscythe was his weapon of choice of course, and later Deathscythe Hell replaced it. He held a deep affection for his Gundam; it helped him to claim the God of Death's name, and helped him to do the God of Death's job. Deathscythe gave him the power to choose who lived and who died, and as he dragged his unwilling victims into his personal world of torment, Duo always found it delightful that he could enjoy these lives in his Death.

Letting go of Deathscythe was hard, perhaps even harder for him than it was for Quatre, especially since Heero wasn't there this time to catch him as he finally tried to see what life outside of death could really mean.

Deathscythe and its alternate form of Deathscythe Hell had helped him to gain his revenge, but he wondered if he could actually live when he was still so dead.

End.


	11. The Weapon of His Birth

**The Weapons of Their Destruction**

_By tati1_

_Summary: This is a series of five drabbles, going backwards through the G-boys, about how the guys felt about their Gundams. Zechs and Treize not included._

_A/N: All information you may not understand is directly from the manga Episode Zero or from the Gundam Wing show._

**Drabble 01: The Weapon of His Birth**

_By tati1_

Heero had been lost since the day he was born. He didn't expect to find himself until he died; perhaps Duo would help guide him then. The only thing he had ever had was his skills. Attachments to objects or people were not something he could afford. Everyone died. Everyone left him. He did form attachments though, even when he knew he should not risk it, could not afford to risk it.

He had liked Odin. The man had taught him to protect himself; had taught him how to kill. Without Odin, Heero would never have had the skills necessary to attract Dr. J's attention, and would never have earned the title of Perfect Soldier or his gun or his Gundam. He would never have had his laptop, and he would never have met Duo and the other pilots.

Wing was an excellent weapon. It fit him, as though it had been born with him and breathed with him. As though it felt what he felt and lived as he lived, searching, always searching, trying to find a solution to a question he didn't really understand.

Wing Zero was even better. It read his thoughts and actively helped him to search. It promised redemption and a chance at peace. At the end of the war though, it was an attachment he willingly gave up. His search could not continue with weapons; not even the ones he had been born with. He had been more than willing to risk death, several times, because it was more than likely that the answer to his search lay beyond the grave, and so it had never really mattered if he lived or died, just as it had never really mattered that he had liked Odin or that he felt affection for his gun and laptop and skills. Some of his human attachments he would prefer to maintain for a bit, but he gave them up as well. Perhaps, if he left them, the search would become clearer, and he could learn if he could become more than the weapon he had been told he was born to be.

End.


End file.
